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Must An Only Child Be Indulged?

Mothers! The milk of love running in their veins makes them want to do everything possible to ensure that their children are fine. But then, would a mother plan to raise a naughty child or would she desire to have a child that would make her proud in future?  Let’s examine these scenarios:
Shimite got married at 32, and waited for six years for a child. While still hoping to get pregnant, she was entrapped in an ‘apparent war situation’ with her in-laws. The first two years were deceptively pardonable, but not for the years that followed. She dragged her husband to see every medical professional that was recommended by family and friends.
When after six years the child they all waited for came, he was treated with every care like an egg that could get broken. From
her in-laws to her family members, they pampered Shimite’s son.
He got everything he asked for and would cry most of the times for no reason.  When he eventually had to go to school at age four, Shimite virtually attended school with him. Now aged seven and in school Basic 2 class, the child would rather bully his classmates than learn.
At home, the boy wouldn’t clear off his dishes neither was he taught how to make up his own bed. Whenever Shimite’s husband tries to spank his son for a naughty behaviour, his wife begs for forgiveness.
Shimite felt disgraced when during a Church service an Usher came to request that the child be taken to a class for his age, where he could learn and mix with other children, but her son shouted a practical ‘No’ to the usher. She couldn’t convince the child to go because he must always be with her.
Lizzy got married when she was 28 years old. Her job didn’t allow her become pregnant until after two years. Three years after marriage, she gave birth to a son whose pregnancy she carried for 14months! The family was happy but Lizzy was particularly grateful to God for sparing her life.
Lizzy experienced another pregnancy when she was 35, but unfortunately, she had a still birth. It took a while for her recuperate to her normal self.  Before sharing her experience, Lizzy became pregnant with a set of twins when she was 41.
Following the same route of disappointment, she continued ‘spotting’ and her doctors advised for an evacuation of the pregnancy to save her life.
Today, Lizzy is glad to be alive to raise her only child.
Interestingly, Lizzy’s son does household chores effortlessly.  He takes his clothes out for laundry, cleans his room and packs his books for school. He helps out whenever Lizzy wants to do some baking and fruit juices.
But there was a secret to this. Lizzy said that from the onset when she discovered she was having a problem, she made up her mind to raise her child to be one whom she could rely on at any point in time. Lizzy said she took away ‘unnecessary pampering’ from her diary of raising a child; she taught her child from a very young age, to be responsible to himself and towards everyone around him, and today she’s pleased with the result.
Considering these experiences, you’ll agree that looking around us there are cases like them.  A child is a child, no matter how long it took for the parents to have him/ her. Raising a child with good discipline is also a function of how the parents understand upbringing, because they would do same if they have more than one child.







  1. Afronuts says

    Its amazing or rather sad how some parents lose focus of raising a child properly. The pampering is an excess that will always backfire.

    Parents must learn to evaluate how they themselves were raise and decide whether they want to raise their kids that way or change the approach. That's what I did. I was raised with strict discipline that could be excessively harsh…but I decided to raise my kids with the same discipline but minus excessive harshness. People should learn from Lizzy's example.

  2. onepageafrica says

    Abi o Afronuts. Many mothers today feel otherwise from how they were raised, forgetting that it gave us 'home sense' that is helping us live life today. Children sure needs discipline to become useful adults tomorrow.

  3. Eya Ayambem says

    I agree with Afronuts that the pampering will backfire. It is easier said than done. Only God's special grace can save a mother from spoiling that child.

  4. onepageafrica says

    Importantly however, the mother should know that she cant get help for herself when an only child is too attached to her. I really do think that an only child should mix with other children so they can learn a lot too.

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