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Loners are losers!

We may not really be perfect especially in our relationships
with people, but we can learn how to be good to people and not fuss over every
little thing.

It is particularly sad to note that some friends decide to be
edgy in relationships when they think that the other person cares more about them
than they do the other.

A young lady shared an experience that she used to put
up such attitude until she learned how unprofitable it was to hold grudges
against friends for no just cause when she observed the relationship among
three friends in her undergraduate days.

The story is that one among three friends, Tope, kept all to herself more after an argument with
Bolu and Vicky. It was like something she had yearned for in a long while.
Efforts by the duo to make up with her failed; she was too busy for any
discussions now, she claimed. Waiving their initial agreement to take elective
courses in Sociology, Tope decided to opt for Political Science. She didn’t
want to take the same courses as her ‘ex-friends’ anymore.

As the situation persisted, Vicky worried the more.
She felt Tope was allowing pride overshadow her sense of reasoning and didn’t
think it was a forbidden idea to accost her even when Bolu thought otherwise. “
We have been friends as Jambites  and I don’t feel comfortable with separating
from her simply because of a missing textbook,” said Vicky.

“But since she has continued to hold on to a
meaningless grudge, must we continue to offer a rain of sacrifices just to
please her?” Bolu demanded. She believed that Tope wanted some time to get over
personal troubles and may not be moved until she was satisfied with her act.

Without letting Bolu know, Vicky sent Tope a text
message about the proposed scholarship programme for second year Social Science
students. She gave her a full description of the venue and all that was
required for the screening exercise.

Vicky was pleased when she got a reply from Tope
saying ‘Thanks for the information.’ On the appointed day, Bolu and Vicky
arrived early at the venue and immediately signed in for the screening and
documentation process. But all the while, Vicky kept looking out for Tope. She
wondered what it was that could be keeping her back; ‘she probably didn’t leave
her hostel on time or couldn’t get a vehicle’, she thought.

At the end of the exercise by 3.20pm, it became clear
to Vicky that Tope just may have decided not to come for the programme.  Tope didn’t care to reply Vicky’s message
asking why she missed out of the programme on purpose.

Precisely two months after the scholarship screening,
both girls got their money offers of N150, 000 each. Besides the cash awards,
the organisation included them on a youth development exchange programme to
neighbouring Ghana. Their three-week stay in Ghana was very rewarding as they
got into wider students networking groups to help them develop new skills.

The beginning of the first semester in their 300level
class was very demanding with different group assignments. But for Vicky
and Bolu, like a number of other students who got the scholarship, there was some sort of relief since they were able to purchase their personal computers
and key text-books. They were able to typeset their assignments and only took
the printing aspect to the ever-busy business centres that take so much time
from students.

Bolu was not so patient with negative attitudes as what
Tope was putting up, so she was quick to yank off Tope’s contact from her
mobile phone and diary. But just when Vicky was trying to move on without Tope
as a friend, Tope stepped in to ask for forgiveness. Someone had told her a lie
about both girls and rather than observe things for herself, she took an
irrational decision to stay away from them, claiming to have been offended
because of a text-book that was not missing after all.

They got back to being friends after Tope apologized
and asked to be forgiven, but Bolu remained very sceptical! 

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